“This morning the green fists of the peonies are getting ready to break my heart as the sun rises, as the sun strokes them with his old, buttery fingers and they open— pools of lace, white and pink— and all day the black ants climb over them, boring their deep and mysterious holes into the curls, craving the sweet sap, taking it away to their dark, underground cities— and all day under the shifty wind, as in a dance to the great wedding, the flowers bend their bright bodies, and tip their fragrance to the air, and rise, their red stems holding all that dampness and recklessness gladly and lightly, and there it is again— beauty the brave, the exemplary, blazing open. Do you love this world? Do you cherish your humble and silky life? Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath? Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden, and softly, and exclaiming of their dearness, fill your arms with the white and pink flowers, with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling, their eagerness to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are nothing, forever?”

•  12 May 2013

Fail her. Because an entrepreneur knows how to create opportunity from failure. Because an entrepreneur understands that nothing truly comes to an end. That you can always create something from nothing. That you can recreate again and again and still be the heroine. That life is meant to have a challenge or two. Besides, it’s a good reminder that she has to focus on being the best she can be – for herself first.

•  7 March 2013

“Since desire always goes towards that which is our direct opposite, it forces us to love that which will make us suffer.”

—

Anaïs Nin 

•  25 February 2013

Steve Jobs once said something along the lines of believing that our past will someday lead to our future, having hopes that the dots will somehow connect. 

Forgiving is one thing, and then there’s the forgetting. How does one forget? I’ve tampered with the idea of meditation, trying hard to not allow my thoughts of the past to take hold of my present but in effect, that is much easier said than done. Holding on to events of the past and connecting them in a blizzard of messy scenes is unhealthy, I know. Is it an act of kindess or mere stupidity? How does one hold on to something that is already tainted? Does time actually heal all or am I just kidding myself? 

Contemplation is a daily ritual that takes over most of my conscious thoughts. Which is actually the road less taken and how many more times am I going to trip following the beaten path? So many questions, very few answers. 

•  25 February 2013

Given my incessant absence, starting the new year with two consecutive palahniuk quotes could be read as self-destructive (or in some ways, morbid).

It would be an understatement to say I’m at a strange place, physically and mentally. January has been the most tumultuous ride so far; a new city, a new job and new friends. In the past 23 years, no single new-year has provided me with as much novelty as this one. It hasn’t even been a month and I am convinced that I have already lived through a years worth of experience. It has so-far been difficult for me to write, to articulate my thoughts on to a piece of paper because as soon as one sentence appears, I question the validity of my own words. Even now, I’m writing sans purpose.

What I do know is that I need to write again, force myself to reflect a little harder, reconcile my values with actions and through this, record and document something tangible. It’s easy to live everyday as if it’s your last but I find it almost impossible to do. I want to make something this year, something big and something memorable. Let this post be a reminder. 

•  22 January 2013